why sweeny todd is funny
by Ereathea Shadow
Summary: this movie is awsome and hillarious AND has a moral what more could you want
1. info dump summary

A/N: I OWN NOTHING except the shirt on my- crap this is my sister's shirt. I love this movie! Kudos to both the writer and the composer, it's just so AWESOME!! Anyway, I got up in the middle of the night and decided to write this fanfic story, here is goes.

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Okay, what I'm going to do is give you the basic summary of the plot and then recount ( in greater detail) my favorite scenes. If I skip a scene that you like, mind you, I haven't seen this movie for a month and all I've to go on is the soundtrack, to remind me of the movie. If you would like it included in the summary, include a description of the scene in your post.

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Brief Summary

I'm going from beginning to end very quickly.

Sweeney Todd is a barber and he had a wife named Lucy Barker.

The Judge aka: Snape ( ask me if you don't know what I mean by that) decides that Benjamin Barker's, ( Sweeney Todd's former name) wife Lucy is pretty and that he would really like to have Lucy for himself. So he sentenced Benjamin Barker for life, on a false charge. While Benjamin was gone, The Judge made a move on his wife, who by the way had a baby girl by the name of Johanna.

Well, Lucy holds out for a really long time. But then The Judge invites her to his house to " apologize" for all the injustice he has put her though. When she gets there, The Judge rapes her. Then she goes back to her apartment and drinks a bottle of arsenic.

Anyway, Benjamin escapes prison and comes back to London, only he's not the same man he used too be, he now has a totally different personality and looks completely different. He now goes by the name of Sweeney Todd. On the ship he is in the company of a young and optimistic sailor named, Anthony Hope. When the finally reach land, Sweeney leaves the optimistic sailor to his own devices and heads to Fleet Street, where he used to live.

When he gets there he meets his former windowed landlady, aka: Bellatrix Lastrange. Who then tells him what happened to his wife, then she revealed to Mr. Todd that she always had a fondness for him. After that she gives him his razors back, then he vows to kill The Judge.

Then you find out that the optimistic sailor, up to this point, has been just been wandering around London. The he spots a beautiful blonde girl in the window of The Judge's house. This is Johanna, Sweeney's now adult daughter, who has been held captive in The Judges house, since her mother drank the arsenic.

Back to Sweeney, now he has found a rival barber and totally beat him in a contest for the fastest and closet shave of which the Beadle, The Judge's assistant, aka: Peter Pettigrew was the judge of the contest.

Then two things happen, The Beadle suggest that The Judge should get a shave at Sweeney Todd's Tonsorial Parlor, so that he will be more appealing to Johanna whom he now wants to marry. ( Creepy.) Also, the " Italian" guy he beat in the contest tries to blackmail Sweeney out of half of his profits. Well, Sweeney kills the " Italian" guy and The Judge agrees to get a shave. To make a long, long, long, story short, Sweeney doesn't get a chance to kill him yet because the optimistic sailor busted in, whom The Judge hates because the optimistic sailor, is in love with Johanna also. Sweeney isn't very happy about this too say the very least. He then vows to kill everyone in London.

Then Mrs. Lovett has a great idea of what to do with the bodies. She could turn them into meat pies and sells them in her shoppe. ( Brilliant! Cough sarcasm cough) Well, they continue this for awhile. The romance between Johanna and the optimistic sailor hit's a few road blocks but no one really cares about them.

Everything ends up as Sweeney's wife was still alive, her brain was just messed up from the poison. Sweeney killed her though because she was in the way of his plan to get to The Judge and he didn't know that she was his wife. When Sweeney finds out he throws Mrs. Lovett into her own oven. Then he kneels over to his dead wife's body, then Toby comes up from behind him and kills him with his own razor.

Gasp, gasp, lol, the end.

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A/N: That was SUPPOSED to be an info dump for those who were about to tell me so. Side note: This is going to be the longest of these review things that I post because I love this movie so much! Now that you've read, please review.


	2. Stalker song

A/N

I OWN NOTHING

I think this is the first of my "reveiws" that has had a second chapter

please forgive spelling errors as I don't type well.

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scene 1...

in the begining(after the whole blood spreading into the ocean thing) you have The Optimistic Sailor (Anthony) and Sweeny Todd (Benjamin Parker) discussing their different opinions of London, which hints at (Okay slaps you in the face with) the moral of the movie. But not many people (besides myself) actually care about the moral. The only thing those people care about is watching a barber slit throats. Well I care about the story line (in all of it's hilarity).

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ok, one of my favorite sceanes/songs in the movie is when the optimistic sailor (anthony) is singing to johana..

I will now type the lyrics to said song

I feel you Johanna  
I feel you (WTF!!)\

I was half conviced I'd waken  
Satisfied enough to dream you  
Happily I was mistaken johanna

I'll steal you Johanna (Stalker!!)  
I'll steal you (O.O)

now here is an interuption worth metioning

at this point Judge turpin (AKA Snape)  
comes out of the house the optimistic sailor had seen Johana in  
and invites the young man in for tea  
anthony admits that he is lost  
then Judge turpin make alot of naughty thingsual comments about women around the world

"a sailor must be practice in the ways of the world would you say your practiced?... ahhh such practices... the geishas of japan...the concubines of sian...the catamites of greece...the Harrlets of india...I have them all here...drawings of them everything you've ever dreamed of doing with a woman...would you like to see?"

(Kay that whole monologue was kinda creepy)

then he acuses anthony (gasp I used his real name shock)  
of "Gandering" at his ward (aka Johana)

(and for those of you who dont know Gander a look or glance at somebody or something

incidently it also means a male goose...hmmm...)

then he has Beatle be the holy crap out of him and not only dose he do a good job of it in the first place he also kicks the man while he's down then as he tries to get up he throws his bag at him.

that leads us to the other half of the stalker song (for I will forever call it that)

I'll steal you Johana (OMFG HE'S A PSYCO!!)  
I'll steal you  
true they think that walls can hide you (Can't they though?)  
even now I'm at you window (PEEPING TOM!! or uhhh sailor... uhh anthony... whatever his name is)  
I am in the dark beside you (O.O)  
buiried sweetly in your yellow hair (Akward)

I feel you Johana (gulp)  
and one day I'll steal you (CREEPO!!)  
till I'm with you then I'm with you there (WTF!!)  
sweetly buried in your yellow hair

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A/N yeah I got a little crazy with the comments therre at the end but oh well.

read and reveiw please

Side note: my updates will come in chuncks because I acctually write these with pen and paper gasp horror then type them


	3. imminent rueage

A/n I3 sweeny todd I bought the movie finnaly now I can really give the scenes some justice.

okay now I'm going to talk about the scean where Sweeny Todd totaly pwns the italian sounding babrber. I'm saying that the barber will rue the day he came up with the plan to out shave sweeny. I'm talking Imminent Rueage here... okay I'll stop now

but can you blame me I almost hate that guy (for the record I don't "hate" anyone i may dislike them aLOT!! but I can't and won't hate them) but after what that guy did to tobi I almost DO hate him He sooooo deserved to die in this movie and luckally he did so moving on

I love this scean while the Itallian sounding guyis singigng this totally gay song sweeny is slowly sharpening his knive and mixing the lather and goofing around then when the Italian sounding guy hits this impossible-to-hit-by-a-man note he shaves his customers face in two seconds flat.

creating total pwnage

the next scene I would like to dicuss is the scene when Sweeny todd kills his firs victem which is of course the "italian" barber that he has just pwned

first I think it was funny as crap the way he beat him over the head with a coffe pot.

second...when mrs. Lovet ffind out about his death she is appaled that sweeny would do such a thing

theeeennn she finds out that the not realy italian barber was trying to blackmail sweeny out of half his prophets then she's ok with it

(I love Mrs. Lovette...but not in a lesbian way...not that there is anything wrong with lesbians some of my freinds are Lesbians but I'm not...I'm gonna shut up now)

A/n read and reveiw please...

it will be a while before I update again because college starts this week and I'm a freshman WEEEEEE college.


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